A Little Box Up On The Shelf

It is 8:30PM on a Friday night.  The house is quiet except for the distant sound of Kai's sound machine in his room and I'm sitting on my bed when I suddenly realize I am so happy. 

There are piles of clothes in one bed corner waiting to be put away, diapers in the other corner waiting to be folded, there is not a single piece of space on the desk because it is covered in piles of unorganized journal articles / bills / coupons... and yet I am happy.  

I realized two days ago that I have 5 pairs of shoes that have no pair.  In every nook and cranny I find random shoes but no pair.  I have no idea where they are... and yet I am happy.  

The multiple To-Do lists I have for work, home, projects never ever get smaller.  When I finally check one off the list three more take it's place...and yet I am happy.

Nothing is perfect, or even remotely close to it... and yet I am happy.

A little boy at the end of the hall now reliably sleeping through the night giving me ~4 hrs every evening to myself does that.  This little box up on the shelf does that.  

This little box filled with clothes that the little boy has grown out of.  This little box being solid proof that whatever I am doing seems to be working.  Whatever I am doing is helping his little body that used to seem so impossibly small to grow.  

And of course the next thought that I had was that I am a crazy woman. I am clearly going mad.  But I suppose for tonight I will have to be content to be a ridiculously crazy woman who is so happy.  :-) I am so thankful. 

2014 in Review --> Three and a Half Months of Mommyhood

Well after about a year's hiatus here we are again.  It is so hard to believe that we have a little human of our very own now.  Our little Kai.  I have had the thought "I'm very blessed" many times before but never ever has it felt so truly real.
So much has happened in the past year that it has been, at times difficult to remember all the details.  I never had a chance to consolidate everything into one 'story' so here is my feeble attempt at doing so.  (a.k.a the longest post in the history of posts!) I'm sure there is a ton missing but this will have to do for now.

Our first trip to Colorado!  It was a wonderful thing to meet my long-lost sister Inger for the first time.  Man, how awful did I look at the time.  I was so tired from coming off of a very difficult rotation at work so as per usual all of our travel plans were put together at the eleventh hour. 

Little did we know that we were pregnant at the time!  In retrospect, I'm glad that we ended up not being able to ski. :-P  After over a year of trying for this my reaction was not of one of surprise or euphoria but more of an "OK! It is about time!  Let's get this show on the road!".  

Adjusting

Being a doctor is a strange sort of a thing.

Its the sort of a job that finds you writing posts at 2AM since this is the time I have to do them during a slow night shift at work.

It is the sort of a thing that gets other people saying how grateful they are for whatever it is that I did at that particular moment, when really I want to tell them "Honestly, I really did not do that much (if anything) and it really is not that spectacular".  And I don't mean that in the "I need to be humble" sort of a sense.  But of course that is not something that doctors say.

It is the sort of a thing that keeps you thinking every minute of every day about this or that patient, this or that blood test, or one of the 5 things that always seem to be overdue.  You are never off duty, even if you are off duty.  I'm constantly thinking about what patients should be doing for themselves and fretting over them, even (or perhaps especially) when they don't seem to be fret about themselves. And it seems to be getting more pronounced the farther along I get.

Lullaby - piano by Brahms

This has been the hardest song to date strangely enough! 

Cafe Vienna

Well.  I finished medical school (yay!), went on my first European vacation, bought my first car, rented my first house, and have graduated.  I am officially Dr. ... M.D.  And yes, I still feel like an imposter.  Orientation for work starts on Monday and while I am very excited and looking forward to actually DOING what I have wanted/trained to do for decades at this point (and kind of super excited about having my first check since my pennies working for Motherhood Maternity and my odd-jobs in telemarketing and flee-markets) I have this awful irrational thought that someone will look at me and say, "Hey, how did you get here?  Sorry there must have been some mix-up in the paperwork.  We did not want you.  You are clearly not qualified."  I can't say I am excited to be working 80+ weeks but there are so many other good things happening in life right now that I can't complain.  I have so much to be thankful and happy for right now.  Life is good.  

Blow The Man Down - Piano

Strangely enough, I love this song.  Especially since I watched a documentary on the whaling industry in the 1800's.  It reminds me of Moby Dick epic stories and the vast ocean.  :-)




Do What Brings You Joy


~G

Crocodile Stitch Scarf

This is a stitch that I had not known about until a couple of weeks ago when a nurse on my ENT (ear, nose, throat) rotation pulled a big beautiful yellow scarf project out of her purse.  She tells me this is none other than the crocodile stitch!  

Grocery Bag

Okay guys, I have to admit I am pretty excited about this one.  I think it looks pretty fantastic if I do say so myself. ^_^

Lavender's Blue - Piano, and Plans Plans Plans!

I'm not a fan of this song to be honest, but it is what came up and the pieces are definitely getting much more difficult now.  I can't fly through them like I could in the beginning.  I have been neglecting the violin now for quite a while since I felt like I was on a roll with the piano, but I think it is time to go back to my strings. ^_^




Oh, and did I tell you I'm done with medical school??? Why yes.... YES I AM!!!  :-D  Joy and rapture my friends. 

Piano - Alpine Melody and 1000 Views!

I'm getting better!



Also, it has recently come to my attention that I have passed 1000 views on this silly blog of mine.  Thanks to whoever it is that is reading this! :-)  I heart you!
Now lets make this a little more interactive.  Comment please!  ^_^

~G

~Do What Brings You Joy